I'm sitting cross-legged on my therapist's couch 4 months after my husband's announcement that he wants a divorce when my therapist informs me that he thinks I should start dating again.
I had told myself and others that I was going to take time off to concentrate on myself for once. Between a husband and three boys, I didn't know who I was anymore. I just wanted to hang out with my girlfriends, drink martinis like a fish, and let the hair grow long on my legs if I wanted. I had even gone so far as to announce to my friends that I was going to take a full year off from any kind of relationship.
Read more here.
I had a message from Plentyoffish the other day, letting me know that there was a man who wanted to “meet me.” The “meet me” on PoF is really just a passive-aggressive way of letting someone know you’re interested without making a real first step towards asking for a date. When I opened the link to the man’s profile this is what I found (minus the “profile don’t” black rectangle. I added that.)
I just don’t know how I’ll resist. This model even comes with a remote control holder right above his dick.
Copyright 2011-12. My Dating Prescription blog. All Rights Reserved.
A long time ago, like back in early August, I received an email from a reader named Jennifer who shared the following profile. She had received a notice from Plentyoffish letting her know that the man who wrote the following profile (posted here without editing) wanted to meet her. I don’t know; I think she should wait for a better fish. What do you think?
“If you are a weak minded individual, a candy A** or more so a prood or stuck up female who does not have an adventureous side in life or sexual activities, MOVE THE F**K ALONG!!!! Im tired of talking to females who run at the first sign of anything new either in life or in the sexual side of things. If I place you in my favorites, No matter what size, shape or type of person you are; then it means I like what I see and read. The plain fact is I’m not going to write you unless I know you’re interested. Most females on here like to play head games and lie about what they really want. They claim they don’t but once you start to talk to them you realize that they do. They claim: 1.) OH i want an Honest man, a faithful man, a loving man who reallyy cares and shows interest in all of my interestes and beliefs and well you females know the rest. You write it in your profile. The real fact is if a man doesn’t sh*ton you or treat you like sh*tyou dont give the good guys like myself a chance. God forbid a man like myself write it up in his profile what he really wants and is honest and all the crap you females ask for; then we get labled as controlling and stalkers and Butt holes. So really ladies, Stop the mind games and double talk and stop asking for things that you dont really want. If your a real woman and you really mean what your writing in your profile then give the guys like myself a chance.
If I favorite you and you are interested just e-mail me and we will chat.
I have found that most females on here are either living in a fantasy, dream land or they have completely lost their minds. There are a few who are honest and up front about themselves and those are the ones who will find what they seek. Lets start this profile thing off on the right foot.
Ladies i am not looking for a one night stand, a booty call, just a f*ck or anything that will lead to you simply getting off and then leaveing. I am looking for my last ” First kiss, My last night alone, the fullfilment of my hearts every desire, the love of my life and everything else that goes with being inlove and being together forever”. If you become offended by anything I have to say in my profile then you’re probably someone who needs to look at yours and find out what’s wrong in it. I am not trying to make the entire female population angry but most men won’t put it up on a page and spell it out for you because they are all out to just hit it and quit it. Not to mention you have fallen for their load of sh*t and now your pissed. If you become upset, hostile, angry, pissed off, Sh*tin, or you are by birth a female that is a Nut Case, Bi-polar, a psychopath or otherwise a completely crazy individual; stop reading my profile and MOVE THE F**K ALONG!!!!! It’s not hard. Just click the next button.
I am an Advanced Open Water SCUBA Diver in many different classes. I enjoy many outdoor activities and i love the country. I am open minded for new experiences and will try anything once to see if i like it. Willing to go the extra mile to keep a relationship exciting. I enjoy all types of music, I like dancing, road trips, animals of all kinds, I actually view my life in the tense of i fit in everywhere.
I am looking for a woman who has all over her teeth. They must not be missing, rotting or black or gray. They have to be healthy. A little yellow is fine. I. looking for a woman who enjoys looking, acting and being a woman. That means she wears dresses, skirts, blouses, Sexy heels and Sexy boots. I love a woman whos dressed in leather of any sort. She takes the time to make herself up and look good for me when we go out, when I get home on our day off or at least making herself look good for me. Someone who is ready for anything day or night. Someone who can be classy yet someone who is not afraid to get down and freaky any time I want her to and whos not affraid to look slutty even thought shes not one. Shes looking like that for me and noone else. I’m looking for a woman with a kinky, slutty, perverted mind. I love Ink and piercings on a woman. I am looking for a woman who is ready to test her limits and see how far I can push them. Im looking for a woman who can go from elligant to professional to casual to slutty at the moment i tell her too. I am looking for a woman who can handle being flexible with anything my job throws at us. I’m not looking for someone who is into head games or any of that bullshit. If you are a level headed woman who is interested in having some fun, getting to know one another and looking for something special, write and let’s get together.”
(Sigh) He’s probably wondering why he’s not getting any dates. Or possibly, if he is getting dates, he’s wondering why they’re all fucked in the head. Only a woman who is bat-shit crazy would go out with this guy. Someone should talk to him about the laws of attraction.
Online dating can be frustrating, for sure, but on free online dating sites, like Plentyoffish, your profile is seen by members and non-members alike. It is open for public viewing. Jennifer’s email to me also included the man’s profile picture, which did not include a headshot, but rather, a picture of what I will call a ”mid-life crisis tattoo” much like the ex’s, covering his whole back. For the record, I’m not against tattoos, however, I do feel the design of them and their content says a lot about a person. I decided not to post the picture here since, much like dental records, tattoos can be used to identify people.
Finally, if this seems like a cop-out of a post, you’re right. I’ve been busy. We’ll get caught up again soon. I promise.
Image from here.
Copyright 2011-12. My Dating Prescription blog. All Rights Reserved.