Comments on: The Leading Man and Important Lessons

By: Wilma

Wilma — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 20:35:38 +0000

Nope. I’m on to better things. Thanks.

By: Chicago-Style Girl

Chicago-Style Girl — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 10:52:24 +0000

I hear you. Good riddance if he can’t show he’s interested. What you did with your small reaches out with a text and a comment on Facebook made it clear you were interested in continuing to communicate. If a man can’t step up and take the next step, he isn’t the man for you.

By: Wilma

Wilma — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 16:03:01 +0000

Oh, I totally agree. For some reason, I had never thought about that. I heard my mom say that many times growing up too, but for some reason we have a difficult time applying it to our relationships. I’ve recently become a Wizpert on dating and relationships, and it baffles me how many people call in asking how they can get their boyfriend or girlfriend to love them. What??

By: The Byronic Man

The Byronic Man — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 15:39:17 +0000

Our parents tell us “anyone who treats you like that isn’t your friend” and it’s so dumb and annoying… but if you can get to that mindset in dating it’s a HUGE achievement.

By: Wilma

Wilma — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 19:28:55 +0000

Awesome! I’m totally taking that as a compliment.

By: Elder Baud

Elder Baud — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 19:07:50 +0000

If you were Wonder Woman, I would seriously not want to be a super villain.

By: Wilma

Wilma — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 15:21:59 +0000

Thanks for the insights, Dittoditto. I totally agree with you. In my recent interview, I mentioned that women shouldn’t get their hopes up about the first date, and this fact that it is just a “meet and greet” is why. You don’t know until you meet face to face if you are going to hit it off or have any chemistry, and yes, in this age of online dating, people are prone to exaggeration in their online dating profiles. Some choose not to be honest about who they are at all, so they really are a stranger until you meet and have a chance to ask a lot of questions to do some fact-checking.

Now that I’m finished with my MBA course readings, I have all sorts of time to read books. I’ll have to check that one out. Thanks.

By: Wilma

Wilma — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 15:14:11 +0000

Amen, sister!

By: DittoDitto

DittoDitto — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 14:08:34 +0000

There may be any number of reasons why people use euphemisms. Not wanting to hurt your feelings may be one of the reasons. Not feeling that they owe you an explanation of their thoughts when they have only just met you could be another reason.

My friends and I had a long discussion one night because dating as an adult is certainly different than dating as a teenager. As an adult, many times, we are finding people online or though friends whom we have never met in a real world situation or have met a long time ago. As a teenager we tended to date kids we knew at school, or our friend’s siblings, or some other person who was in our sphere of activity. When you meet someone that you know only marginally (and this is especially true of online dating sites) this person is a total stranger. What they write or say may or may not have any veracity. It is for this reason that we try to maintain a safe distance by meeting them at a public place and testing the waters.

After much discussion we determined that this first meeting is not really a date. When people get together with a total stranger at a coffee shop where she buys herself a cup of coffee and he buys himself a cup of coffee and they each try to determine whether or not they have any interest in the person facing them that is a meeting. We decided to call this a “meet and greet”.

We looked at it this way: if I walk into a room full of people I will see many people. I will talk to many people. I will probably not have an interest in seeing most of these many people again. There is nothing specifically wrong with any of them… it is just that I didn’t feel a connection. When I go home I will tell my friends that I met Joe or Stan or Mike. I will not say that I dated Joe or Stan or Mike. If Mike should ask to see me again and I didn’t feel that there was any interest on my part, I would probably not feel that there was any good purpose to review with him why my answer was “no”. I would probably use a gentle approach and say something along the vague lines of “sometime”.

Anyway, that is the approach that we found worked. It is only to share my experience and certainly may be something with which you disagree.

I found the book He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, (Simon Spotlight Entertainment an imprint of Simon & Schuster, 2004) to be very helpful.

By: Cdn Stormlover

Cdn Stormlover — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 13:24:42 +0000

Loved this post! Kudos!
“When a man knows what he wants, he will go after it, and if he doesn’t want me, there is really no reason for me to want him.”
Never take away a man’s God given right to pursue what he wants. He will be flattered and may go out with you but you’re not the one he’ll bring home to meet mommy. Let men be men……and continue to be a woman….(p.s. wonder woman rocks!)