I'm sitting cross-legged on my therapist's couch 4 months after my husband's announcement that he wants a divorce when my therapist informs me that he thinks I should start dating again.
I had told myself and others that I was going to take time off to concentrate on myself for once. Between a husband and three boys, I didn't know who I was anymore. I just wanted to hang out with my girlfriends, drink martinis like a fish, and let the hair grow long on my legs if I wanted. I had even gone so far as to announce to my friends that I was going to take a full year off from any kind of relationship.
Read more here.
Man #19, Thor’s Buddy
Normally, I write immediately following my dates. I don’t know WHAT happened with Man #19, but this date happened a long time ago.
Let’s see. Let me go back in my calendar. WAY back.
Ah, yes, there it is. My date with Man #19 occurred on June 30th. It was 2011 at least. Obviously, due to a variety of family and social factors, I have been remiss in my date blogging, and I apologize.
I don’t exactly know why it took me so long to write this one. I think I hit a wall. It’s not really due to anything Man #19 did or said, I just think I got a little fed up with the whole online dating thing after the disaster with Man #17.
Even a serial dater needs a break sometimes.
Man #19 was actually quite nice. He was a date from Plentyoffish where I have a picture of Thor posted on my online dating profile. I also had information about my blog. I was going for full disclosure, and letting guys know that if they went out with me, I would most definitely be writing about it.
We sent a few emails back and forth, had a few things in common, and after reading my blog, Man #19 commented in an email, “Thor is awesome.”
Yes, I think so too. I was happy to hear that Man #19 was a dog lover, and we all know that I am a lover of dog lovers. He asked me if I would like to meet for a date, and I said yes. Then, he suggested that we take a walk around Greenlake.
Sure. Why not?
I proceeded to put the date into my calendar, when all of a sudden it occurred to me. Man #19 has read my blog and suggested Greenlake. Maybe Man #19 was less interested in meeting me and more interested in meeting Thor. You think? Thor is pretty awesome after all, and he’s not nearly as snarky as I am. In fact, I would venture a guess that Thor does not have a snarky bone in his muscular little body. (By the way, check out Thor’s six-pack in the photo above.)
I fired off an email to Man #19.
“Since we’re meeting at Greenlake, do you mind if I bring Thor?”
“That would be great,” came the reply.
I was sitting on the couch with my laptop at the time. Thor was sitting next to me, staring at me as he does most of the time, ready to do whatever I command.
“It looks like YOU have a date, buddy,” I said.
His ears perked up and his mouth broke open into what I like to call his “pittie grin.” You can check out how happy he looks here.
When the night of the date came, Thor and I went to Greenlake a little early to get Thor’s “business” out of the way. Man #19, Thor’s Buddy, also arrived early and we started walking around the lake. He was a pretty good-looking guy, greying hair, slender, a little taller than me, and quite nice. We talked easily about a lot of different things, but for some reason, I felt a little awkward. There were a few things that I heard coming out of my mouth that I just realized seemed off-kilter. I don’t remember the specifics (this is the risk I run by not blogging about my dates right away) but I just remember hearing myself speaking and thinking, “What the fuck are you saying, and WHY??”
Somebody smack me.
I don’t know if I was nervous or what. For the most part, my level of nervousness has gone way down on first dates. It’s when first kisses and the hinting of sex start to occur that I get all anxious, but I was off my game, to say the least.
After the trip around the lake, Thor’s Buddy and I had hit it off well enough that we went to Guaymas Cantina. They have outdoor seating, and Thor could dine with us. I tied Thor to the fence next to our table, and he proceeded to greet every passerby that would make eye contact with him.
Thor gets very wiggling when he sees new people approaching. It starts with the tail wagging and the momentum carries all the way up his body. Every new person is the opportunity for someone to scratch his rump. He let’s them approach and then turns around and looks over his shoulder as if to say, “See how cute my butt is? Don’t you want to scratch it? Huh, don’t ya?”
He’s a nut, but he’s so friendly that if I had to venture a guess, I would bet that a few people who approached him did not realize that they were petting a pit bull.
The bad thing about Thor’s popularity was that it was a little distracting to the conversation that Man #19 and I were trying to have over dinner. I was hyper-vigilant that Thor might LICK someone to death, and everyone who stopped to pet him wanted to comment or ask questions. Hard to have a seamless conversation with all of that going on.
At the end of the date, my awkwardness continued. I put Thor in the car, and Man #19 and I stood on the curb looking at each other for a moment. I even commented on my awkwardness, which made it even more uncomfortable.
I’m such a dork. I think I need to let Thor school me on charisma. He’s obviously got what it takes.
On another note…
Perhaps it is fate that I waited to write this post. I just found out today that Councilman Tom Rasmussen is entertaining the idea of breed specific legislation, eliminating “fighting breeds” from Seattle parks. It does not matter what a great dog Thor, or any other pit bull, may be. In the eyes of the ignorant dog hater, Ellen Taft, pit bulls should be destroyed instead of holding the human component of the equation, the owner, responsible. Breed specific legislation is ineffective, difficult to enforce, and costly to taxpayers. When specific breeds are outlawed, irresponsible owners and criminals just go on to find another mascot. We’ve seen it before with German shepherds, Dobermanns, Rottweilers, etc. Will your dog be next?
I suggest checking out the following resources, and considering an email to Councilman Rasmussen. Here is an excellent example, written by a Seattle firefighter and owner of rescued pit bulls.
I’ve endorsed you, met you, & supported your campaigns.
I recently heard of your support of Ellen Taft in outlawing Pit Bulls in Seattle parks. I have owned 3 rescued Pit Bulls for a total of 8 years until I had to put one down last April after she endured a fight with cancer. I now have two neutered males. We camp, we hike, we live in Seattle proper, we pay our taxes, we bother no one.
My past experience with Ms. Taft and her crusades over the years is that she is a misinformed zealot that has a vendetta against ALL animals, (esp. dogs) in the Seattle area. I would hope that you would further educate yourself on the breed before leaping into zealot territory with this. I respect you, I think you are a man of common sense that leads with informed decisions and not hysterical hype.
The Pit bull is a majestic, loving, and non-human aggressive breed that deserves fair treatment in our city – an all-out ban from parks is unnecessary and breedist. I would hope that you would educate yourself with the following materials before joining in league with an individual that has a reputation of fanaticism and hysteria, neither based on fact nor common sense.
Here are some tools for you:
The Pitbull Placebo by Karen Delise
a free copy can be downloaded at http://nationalcanine….
A page from the National Canine Research Council http://nationalcanine….
Best Friends’s BSL cost calculator
If you take a look at the full legislative proposal put forth by this FDAFB group, it is easy to see how difficult to enforce and incredibly expensive it would be. (see a summary of their plan at http://www.fdafb.org/…) NOT MY MONEY SIR!!!
Statistics from the American Temperament Testing Society
Please re-think your connection with this woman. She attempts to paint the picture of the pittie owner as a drug addict/thug/irresponsible human. EVERY vet I know, ( & I know plenty; owns a pittie…all kinds of professionals in our City & throughout our state own pitties - Police Officers, Trainers, Firefighters – we are not thugs, we are not criminals- we are responsible people who recognize the need for responsible dog ownership of this misunderstood breed – we are more loving than not, & we all sacrifice much to educate others about our beloved breed while individuals like Ms. Taft create fear & lies to support her own personal agenda.
As you know, Firefighters respond into people’s homes at very difficult times – I have entered many homes within the City of Seattle where Pit bulls have been present , under stressful, fearful circumstances, ( the toughest environment for a dog)…. I have NEVER been attacked, bit or even glared at by a Pit Bull in any of these circumstances. I have however been bit by a Golden Retriever…who was “being a dog”, protecting her family from strangers in uniform. She didn’t break the skin, it wasn’t a big deal but if I had the mentality of Ms. Taft – you can bet the papers would have known about it – I would have been off work @ tax payer expense with a ‘non” injury – & I would hate all Golden’s – that’s who Ellen Taft is. I don’t think she’s someone anyone of any common sense would want to align themselves with.
One of the reasons I love Seattle is because of it’s dog-friendly culture, there is enough room in this City for all of us; MY Seattle is not a City that discriminates!!!!!!!…I’ll take my money & leave if my children – my two pitties -are not welcome.
Thank Councilman Rasmussen, please reconsider your possible alliance with MS. Taft.
Please join other Pit Bull lovers at this event – Come see who we REALLY are! Pit Bulls on Parade: Saturday, August 20, 2011 at 10:00 AM
Riverdog Canine Coaching – 1400 19th Avenue Northwest, Issaquah, WA
“Of all dogs, Pit Bulls possess the single greatest ability to bond with people.”*- Dr. Frank McMillan, Director of Well-Being Studies, Best Friends Animal Sanctuary